Notice
on the Washing Machine: Please remove the clothes when green
light turns red. Signboard outside clinic: Doctor out of town for a week.
Till then, be patient! Notice outside electronic shop: Exchange everything for new.
T.V. Refrigerator etc. Bring you wife for excellent bargain.
Sheila:
You know, a lot of men are going to be miserable when I marry. Leela: Really?
How many men are you going to marry?
Movies
they see: Expecting mothers: Babe Botanists: Poison lvy Doctors: The English Patient Snipers: A Time to Kill Gardeners: Jurassic Park Painters: Colour of Night
Baseball Players: First Strike Paparazzi: Hot Shots
Mountaineers: Rocky Fishermen : The Net
How
to double your money:
Fold it over once and put it back in your pocket.
Conversation
overheard in a store:
"Do you have any four-volt, two watt bulbs?
"For what?"
"No, two"
"Two what?
Yes.
No.
A
woman murdered her husband. When she was produced before the judge,
she pleaded guilty but requested the judge to take note of the fact
that it was her first murder and that she was a widow now, with
two infant daughters.
Marriage
vows might be more accurate if they were changed to read "Until
debt do us part.
Lawyer: Where
did the car hit him? Witness: At the junction of the dorsal and cervical verte-brae. Lawyer: My God! I've lived in this town for 20 years and
I never heard of such places.
George:
I'm really worried. John: Why? George: Well, my wife read A Tale of Two Cities and we had
twins.
Later she read The Three Musketeers and we had triplets.
Now she is reading Birth of a Nation.
